Motherhood with Maddi

Categories: Motherhood

Preparing for Baby Led Weaning

We chose to start Baby Led Weaning with Callie once she turned six months old. It’s an approach to starting babies on solids and serving them the food we eat as adults instead of the traditional purée route. (Disclaimer: we still give Callie purées and did more of a combo between the two.) And now that we have been at it for a few months, I’d love to share some products that might help prepare you for Baby Led Weaning. If you aren’t familiar with BLW, I have another post that I’ll link here sharing our experience, and some resources to help get you started!

Just like so many baby products, not all of them are necessary, and we’re not still using all of them currently. I will share everything we used and let you know if we thought it was beneficial or a waste of money. I’m also going to share some items we didn’t get that I wish I would have gotten. Some of these items are probably already in your kitchen, but I’m going to explain how we use them and why we like them!

Things I Bought For Baby Led Weaning

Graco Table2Table Convertible High Chair

One thing I was really careful to look for with baby products was their longevity. I can’t say that everything I bought fell into this category, but with the bigger, more expensive items, I tried really hard to make sure they were going to last a long time. This high chair converts 7 different ways. It can be used as a traditional high chair, a booster chair, and even transforms into a small chair and table for toddlers. This is what really got my attention and why we bought it!

Callie actually started sitting in this chair at around 3 months. She wasn’t eating, but we would put her in it while we were eating, and she would watch us. It reclines so she didn’t need to have complete head control which was nice. I also like that the tray has two pieces so clean up is much easier because the big, bulky piece doesn’t have to go in the sink to be cleaned. We haven’t transitioned to any of the other conversions, yet but I would definitely recommend this chair based on how much we’ve liked it so far!


WeeSprouts Suction Plates

Once we started giving Callie more than one food at mealtime, I would serve it to her on these plates. And for the first few weeks, I loved them. She couldn’t move them, and they were super easy to clean. However, once she started really exploring (moving) her food, the plates became somewhat obsolete, in my opinion. I say that because it was just something else to clean at the end of mealtime. At first, Callie would just pick up a piece of food and either put it in her mouth or drop it in her bib. Her high chair tray would stay clean for the most part so we just cleaned up the plate. Once she started getting food all over the high chair tray, we had to clean her, the bib, the plate, and the tray. It was just a lot of cleaning. So around 8 months we ditched the plates and just served the food on her tray.

Hippypotamus Silicone Bibs

These bibs are hands down, THE BEST. I can’t say enough good things about them! If I can give you any advice, don’t even try cloth bibs. I can’t imagine trying to clean/wash cloth bibs, get stains out, etc. These silicone bibs are so easy to clean. We used these when Callie was starting on purées around 4.5 months and are still using them every day, three times per day. They rinse of so easily and are even dishwasher safe. I. LOVE. THEM.

WeeSprout Spoons

When I was searching for our plates, I came across these (matching) spoons by the same brand. Because I like things to match, I bought them. And they work just fine. We used them primarily when we introduced Callie to purées and for a few months after that when feeding her applesauce, yogurt, etc. But once she learned how to suck out of food pouches, the spoon feeding technique became way more time consuming so we stopped using them. Callie did learn how to self feed with these spoons, and she picked it up fairly quickly. However, the handle is very long, and I think a lot of babies would have an easier time learning to self feed with a shorter handle.

EZ PZ Mini Cup

Another milestone that babies can start practicing around the six month mark is drinking water. Straw cups are definitely the push right now, and when I was doing my research, this cup had great reviews. Callie did learn how to drink water out of this cup, but I never used it as an open cup even though it can be. It just seemed like a mess I didn’t want to deal with. While I did like this cup, it’s not spill proof so we only used it at meal times an it wasn’t super frequent. I honestly can’t say whether I would buy this again or not! In my opinion, it’s kind of expensive for the purpose of the item, but it did it’s job.

Munchkin Straw Any Angle Cup

I wish I could tell you to just start with this cup and skip the trainer cup. Because now that Callie can hold things herself and wants more drinks throughout the day, we LOVE this cup. It’s spill proof, and babies can drink from any angle. The straw has a weighted bottom that moves depending on how the cup is being held so it can always be drunk out of. However, I do think that Callie has to suck waaaay harder to get the water out of this one and I’m not sure she would have been able to do that a few months ago. Overall, I would say this is my current favorite cup and would definitely recommend it. (One of my friends did tell me that if you put milk in it, if it sits out for a little while, the milk can come out of the straw. I plan on just using this for water because of that.)

OXO Grape Cutter

I waited quite a while before giving Callie grapes just because of my anxiety around it being a very common choking hazard. Once I finally introduced them to her, I think it took one time of quartering them by hand with a knife for me to hop on Amazon and order this grape cutter. It takes SO much less time and quarters them perfectly. Definitely worth the money!

Kitchen Shears

Similarly, once Callie developed her pincer grasp we could start serving her food in bite sized pieces instead of large chunks. If you’ve cut up food into small bites with a knife before, you know how time consuming it can be. One of my friends had mentioned using kitchen scissors to cut up food, and as silly it sounds, it is genius. And it literally takes a fraction of the time. So, if you don’t have yourself a good pair of kitchen shears, invest in some and save yourself some time!

Portable High Chair

This isn’t something that we use constantly, but when we have used it, it’s been very convenient! However, this is definitely a chair that can only be used when your baby can completely sit up without help. We’ve taken this to our parents’ houses and recently on vacation with us and it was so nice to have a place for Callie to eat so we didn’t have to hold her. I wouldn’t say this is a must, but it’s nice to have and very compact so we just keep it in the car!

Things I Wish I Would Have Bought

Clip On High Chair

This is so tough because I do really love our current high chair. With this type of seat, your baby has to be able to sit up on their own. With the one we currently have, Callie could sit in it at 3 months because of the recline feature. A reason I really wish I would have gotten this is because of space. The main room in our house (living, dining, and kitchen) doesn’t have tons of space for extra things. We’ve made it work with a full high chair, but having one of these would have saved so much space. I would also suggest one of these if you have a kitchen island that you eat at a lot, this would be really nice to have so that you can continue eating there while also including baby in mealtime!

NumNum PreSpoon

Like I said above, the spoons that I purchased worked just fine for us, and Callie was even able to figure them out on her own. I just think if I were to do it again, I would try these because of the short handle and the grab that they have to pick up food.

Overall, I enjoy and still use most of the things I bought for us to begin Baby Led Weaning, and I am SO happy we chose to go this route. If you chose to do BLW what were some things you loved having/doing? And if you aren’t quite there yet, but are interested in trying BLW, what are some things you’d like to know?

Categories: Motherhood

Starting Baby Led Weaning

Starting Baby Led Weaning

If you asked our parents what “Baby Led Weaning” is, they’d probably have no idea since it’s a much newer practice. I actually hadn’t heard of it until our friends started it with their baby when he turned six months old. And to be honest, it made me really nervous to think about doing it with my own child. Giving my baby big chunks of food just sounded like an automatic choking risk. But, we decided to try it anyway because of so many success stories and reassurance from our pediatrician. I am, by no means, an expert on this topic. I’m just going to share our experience with Baby Led Weaning in case other moms are curious about it, like I was.

Once babies are six months old, doctors usually recommend starting “solids” as a second source of nutrition. Breast milk and/or formula should always be first according to the AAP. For years, giving babies “solids” meant giving them solid foods that had been puréed. And let me say, there is nothing wrong with choosing to give babies purées. We still give them to Callie when we’re on the go because it’s just easier.

Instead of the traditional purée route, Baby Led Weaning is an approach of serving your baby the exact foods you eat (non puréed) and letting babies self-feed. And while they are eating the same foods you are, preparation is different for safety precautions. The goal is for baby to participate in mealtime just like you do while facilitating a positive, interactive experience.

Baby Led Weaning can be time consuming and take some time at first. Callie was actually very interested (one sign that baby is ready for BLW) in our food at mealtimes. So, we did start her on purées at about 4.5 months and she LOVED them. It was a great experience for us, because I know some babies will turn their heads away, spit out the food, or react negatively with gagging or coughing. Callie figured out how to swallow right away and actively showed us that she wanted more. This was a great sign that she would be ready to start Baby Led Weaning (BLW) once she showed the subsequent readiness signs.

Readiness Signs and Introducing Food

Just because Callie was showing interest in our foods, didn’t mean we could just jump right into BLW. One of my friends recommended Solid Starts as a resource for us getting started and it was such great education. I will link their website here and I highly recommend browsing their resources if you are interested in BLW. We took their course before starting, and I would also suggest taking that as it has loads of great information. They have an awesome app as well that shows appropriate ways to cut food which I use frequently.

Another readiness sign is baby being able to sit up mostly unassisted and reaching/holding objects. Around six months, Callie could sit mostly unassisted and was able to hold objects and bring them to her mouth. So we knew she was probably ready to start BLW. We decided to give her banana as her first food and like I said, I used the Solid Starts app to find out how to prepare it.

At the six month mark, most babies are still using their whole hand to pick up objects instead of their fingers. So small, bite-sized pieces are not ideal because babies this age will have a hard time picking them up. Callie fit right into that category and used her whole hand to grab food, almost like a bear paw. Because of this, larger chunks of food are more appropriate so that babies have a better chance of success at grabbing the food and bringing it to their mouths.

Since we chose banana as her first food, we served it to her in two different ways – one half unpeeled, and one half semi-peeled. Bananas are so slippery so I thought having some of the peel still on would help her hold it. At this age, the primary purpose/goal of BLW is for baby to explore and investigate their food. Very few babies will successfully consumes a significant amount of food at this age (which is why breast milk or formula should still be their main source of nutrition.) Callie did taste the banana, but wasn’t very successful at bringing it to her mouth because of the slipperiness. Overall, it was a great first experience with food even though she mainly “played” with it.

Moving Forward

For the next few weeks, we introduced one food at dinner time. That was the easiest time for us because Colin and I were both involved in this meal. We tried to expose her to a wide variety of textures and flavors. She didn’t really consume much, but she enjoyed being with us while also getting to explore her own food.

Colin and I quickly realized why milk is still the primary source of nutrition because at the end of each meal, almost all of the food we gave her was either on her tray or in her bib. And while she wasn’t consuming much, she was learning constantly. We watched her eyes locked on a piece of food identifying the texture, firmness, colors, and more. This was just as educational as her sitting on the floor playing with her toys. And we were able to see her get better and better at holding food every day.

In the early weeks, she tried banana, orange, chicken, potatoes, yogurt, green beans, avocado, eggs, pancakes, strawberries, and more. She took a liking to orange slices and it quickly became her favorite.

The Fear of Choking

This is probably the number one hesitation of BLW because it definitely scared us. When you’re giving your baby purées, it feels like the risk of choking is so much lower because there aren’t chunks of food that can get lodged in baby’s throat. However, I am so glad that we decided to jump into BLW because it has actually taught Callie what food she can handle and what food she can’t.

There was some gagging in the beginning (which is normal) and had we not watched Solid Starts course or done our research, we probably would have thrown in the towel right then and there and called it quits. Choking and gagging are not the same thing and actually gagging is good to see during BLW. I won’t go into the details because, like I said, I’m not an expert. If you want to read more about the difference and what is safe/unsafe there is a great article here.

We Have a Great Eater

I know that not every family who chooses to try BLW will end up with a fantastic eater. But I’m here to say that this approach worked successfully for Callie. We’ve been able to expose her to so many different foods, include her in mealtime with us, and watch her learn so, so much along the way. Another bonus is not having to prepare anything separate or taking additional time spoon feeding baby!

To see if Baby Led Weaning is right for your family, do your research, but I would recommend it again and again. There is a post here discussing all of the products we like and don’t like for BLW if you need some ideas as well, and I will share another post with more up to date information regarding BLW soon! Let me know if you would also like some BLW recipes and I can share some of those as well!

Categories: Motherhood

Tips for Baby’s First Road Trip

Baby’s First Road Trip?

If you’re a first time mom, chances are you’re going to have at least a little bit of anxiety around baby’s first trip whether it be by car or plane. Getting babies out of a routine and sleeping somewhere they aren’t used to is an easy stressor and as moms, we’re going to feel that hard.

I was super anxious for our first trip with Callie. Don’t get me wrong, I was still super excited to go especially because we didn’t take any trips the previous summer since I was so pregnant. We needed to go somewhere! But I was also nervous.

I think something that helped was waiting until Callie was almost ten months old to take her somewhere other than our parent’s house. She had such a good routine established, knew when to expect sleep, had practiced a few overnights at her grandparents during holidays, and we knew her personality was pretty easy-going. While I knew that she would do just fine, I still wanted to prepare as best as I could to make sure we enjoyed our time.

If you’re feeling nervous, that’s okay! That means you want what’s best for your baby. Just try to prepare yourself as best as you can for things to be a little out of whack for a few days, but chances are, your baby will adjust and do just fine! And if not, they’ll get back into their routine pretty quickly once you get home!

Tips For the Car

1. Try to break up the drive as much as possible and utilize nap time!

We had to take our dogs to my in-laws for both of our trips and luckily, it ended up being on the way. We were able to get out, let Callie play for a while there, eat, and then get back on the road closer to a nap. There was still had plenty of awake time in the car, but making sure we were always driving during nap time was so beneficial.

I don’t have advice for babies who aren’t great car sleepers (sending prayers) but what I like to do for Callie’s nap is to make sure she’s in comfy clothes, and then I put a light blanket on her lap to somewhat replicate her sleep sack. I attach her portable sound machine to the head rest she faces, and then I cover her entire car seat with a blanket. (The blanket goes over the head rest she’s facing, and then I tuck it in her car seat.)

Now, I know that is not recommended so please do what you feel is best for your baby’s safety. The reason I chose to do this is because Callie is way too stimulated by her surroundings and would never fall asleep if she could look around. By doing these things, we can usually get at least an hour nap from her while driving.

2. Be Prepared to Ride in the Back

I know that if you are going on a road trip, chances are, your car is going to be full. Ours definitely was… packed to the brim, actually 😅 But when Callie was awake, I was in the backseat with her basically the whole time. She was fine for about 20-30 minutes just looking around, and then she got bored and needed someone to entertain her.

3. Busy Books

I found this book and this book on Amazon and they were great books for the car. I read them to her a few (several) times which she enjoyed, but they were also tactically stimulating because they have so many different sensory textures and activities for her to do. These were specifically for the trip, and I didn’t give them to her until we were in the car so they were new and exciting.

4. New Toy(s)

Just like I did with the books, I bought a new toy that I thought she would like before we left and I didn’t give it to her until we were in the car. Not having ever seen or played with it before, it entertained her and kept her attention much longer than the toys I brought from home.

5. Snacks, Snacks, and More Snacks

Probably a given, but snacks are essential on a road trip with a baby that’s close to a year old or beyond. When we had worn out the books, toys, and looking out the window, it was time to open up the snacks. Some of Callie’s favorites and the easiest options for the car were: Veggie Puffs, Gogo Squeeze, Soft-Baked Granola Bars, Puffs, and BeechNut Pouches. I had a reusable grocery bag on the floor in the back seat filled with these snacks as well as her toys and books. It was so nice to have everything in one spot.

Tips For Your Stay

1. Bring a Sound Machine

I know, this is probably obvious, but DO NOT forget it. When your baby is in an unfamiliar place, the last thing you want to be dealing with is poor sleep because there are new sounds you can’t block out. We stayed in a house which was fine, but we also stayed in a hotel with loud doors slamming and thank gosh we had the sound machine to block it out.

2. Bring a Pack n Play

Another obvious one, but don’t rely on a crib if you’re staying at a hotel. You never know when they will accidentally overbook them, or what kind of condition they will be in. Having something that smells like your home and that you know is safe and clean brings more peace of mind than you’ll know.

3. Lightweight Stroller

When we registered, we picked out a very nice, durable, and big stroller. And we LOVE it… for day to day walking. However, it’s not very practical when traveling because it takes up so much room. So we ordered this umbrella stroller and it has been so nice for traveling. It folds up so compact and doesn’t take up much trunk space at all. It comes with a canopy, drink holders and a small basket.

4. Portable High Chair

This little chair is absolutely amazing and I can’t recommend it enough. We have taken it with us on both trips and to visit friends and family. It’s basically a mini version of a bag chair with an attachable tray. It doesn’t take up any room and is super easy to set up and take down. Callie loves sitting in this to eat just like a regular high chair, and I love it because she doesn’t have to sit on my lap for every meal!

5. Miscellaneous Items

A stroller fan is always a good idea to bring along, especially if you are traveling in the summer. It doesn’t take up much space in a diaper bag and if you don’t have enough room, it can clip on easily to a strap or to the stroller itself.

I also got Callie a stainless steel water bottle for our trip. I wanted to make sure she had plenty of water access for both trips since we were going to be outside and in the sun. This cute bottle is from Simple Modern and the stainless steel keeps it nice and cold!

Headphones – these are probably trip specific and not necessary for all families. We were headed to a Major League Baseball game and weren’t sure how Callie would handle the noise from the crowd. So, we brought these headphones along just in case she couldn’t handle it. Like normal, she was a champ and the noise didn’t phase her so we didn’t need them. But I’m so glad we had them just in case because it could have been a miserable night if she cried every time there was cheering!

Have Fun!

Like I said above, your baby will most likely surprise you with how flexible they are and you will have so much fun! It’s okay to be anxious or nervous if it’s the first trip and you’re a first time mom, but take a deep breath, don’t set expectations high, and enjoy it to the fullest! If you’ve traveled with babies before, what are must haves you always take with you?!

Categories: Motherhood

3-6 Month Favorites

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My baby is officially six months old, so now I can think back to products and items that we have loved using over the past three months. It’s also crazy to me that she is already half way to one year old. I know literally everyone says it, but time goes by so fast.

This post is going to look much different from the last one because it contains so many more toys. We still use almost every product from my 0-3 months favorites, but I don’t want to dedicate space in this page to list them all again. You can find that post here if you need to refer back to it, or want more every day baby products. This post has a lot more focus on toys and feeding materials.

I had plenty of toys in the house the day we brought her home from the hospital, but she barely touched one for the first three months. The most she did for playtime was kick her legs, and bat at toys that were hanging above her, but once she learned to roll and turn so that she could grab, toys were a necessity! This was also the time period that we started foods with her so those products became a necessity.

SkipHop Cloud Activity Center – Your baby will LOVE this. It’s the greatest toy we currently own, and Callie absolutely loves it. We waited until she was a little over 4 months old and had great head control to use this, but once we did it was a game changer. I know that people have mixed opinions on “containers” for baby, but just do some research and do what’s best for your family! We use this when she gets tired of being on the floor and needs a change of scenery. It comes with four cause and effect toys, and a piano with three different modes. I also love that it transforms into a “cruising” table and you can also buy the matching chairs to turn it into a toddler table! 10/10 for this!
SkipHop FollowMe Bee – This was a game changer for tummy time. We got pretty lucky when it came to Callie doing tummy time because she picked it up pretty quickly, and didn’t really fight it much. If she was having a few off days where she didn’t want to do it, we would bring this toy out and she would be entertained for a few more minutes (that’s a long time in those early months of tummy time). When she starts showing signs of crawling, we will use it to entice her to move too! A tip I have if you’re using it for tummy time is to put baby in a corner (I know, I know, nobody puts baby in a corner) and block any space off so the bee can’t get too far away.
Fisher Price Light Up Piano – The teacher in me LOVES this piano because of how educational it is. It teaches baby the alphabet, colors, numbers, and shapes! We also had a Baby Einstein Piano, but it didn’t provide much other than sounds and colors. Callie really likes this toy for tummy time and it is definitely a favorite!
VTech Busy Learners Activity Cube – Around the 5-7 month mark is when most babies will start sitting with or without assistance. To practice sitting with Callie, I would sit behind her for support, and place this cube in front of her to put her hands on. I definitely think this helped her learn to sit because she was able to sit independently around 5.5 months. (She’ll still topple over every once and a while, but she sits with enough confidence for me to get up and walk a few feet away.) She still LOVES this toy, and mom and dad have every song memorized! 😉
Indestructibles Chew and Rip Proof Books – We have lots and lots of board books for Callie and I do really like them, but I can’t let her play with them right now because she will put them in her mouth and ruin them. These Indestructibles books are literally indestructible. I can give them to her to play with during tummy time, and she can’t ruin them! The pages will look a little wrinkly and not like brand new, but she can do whatever she wants to them and they don’t tear. They also wipe clean which is very nice for drooling and spitty babies.
Stacking Cups – A very basic toy for babies, but these will entertain her for a long time. My house is filled with bright-colored toys because that’s what babies enjoy, but I did find these “aesthetic” cups that I personally enjoy!
Sassy Stacking Ring – An upgraded version of the stacking rings we had as babies – this has different colors, patterns, and textures for baby to experiment with. This was another good toy for sitting practice once she became more advanced, and I like that the little rings are easy for her little hands to hold. *I had a very spitty baby for several months and she loved to chew on the top of this which resulted in spit up on every single ring. Just a heads up in case you also have a spitty baby that this toy can get very messy!*
Hollow Teether Tubes – Callie hasn’t cut any teeth yet, but I got these to be prepared and she has been using them even without teething! Babies love putting things in their mouths and this is great because they can easily hold it, it’s soft for them to chew, but also has different textures.
Graco 7 in 1 Convertible High Chair – What sold me on this high chair was the versatility and different transformations. I know that it’s not the one you see most influencers promoting, but it’s a standard high chair that works well. Another reason I really like this chair over others that were being promoted is the reclining function. We put Callie in this before she was three months old so that we could eat while she watched us. I truly think this had a lot to do with how curious and excited she was when it was time for her to eat food because she had been watching us for so long.
WeeSprout Suction Plates – We started giving Callie purées around 4.5 months and wanted to transition to Baby Led Weaning at 6 months which is what we did! We haven’t been at it long, but so far, I really enjoy these plates. She’s only six months, but they have been sticking really well to the tray of her high chair and haven’t stained with food. I have three of them, but will most likely get more when she starts eating three meals everyday so I don’t have to wash them as frequently. They are dishwasher safe and anything I don’t have to hand wash is amazing.
WeeSprout Silicone Baby Spoons – Like I mentioned above, we started feeding Callie purées around 4.5 months and she did awesome with them! These are the spoons we used and I really like that they are soft for her gums. They are long and you can find shorter spoons for baby, but she actually did really well figuring out how to hold the spoon and feed herself with little trouble! I love that these and the plates are also dishwasher safe!
Hippypotamus Silicone Baby Bibs – These are so easy to rinse or wipe clean after mealtime, and the pocket actually does a great job at catching food so it doesn’t get all over her lap. We usually take her clothes off before meals so they don’t get dirty, but still use the bibs to keep her somewhat clean! We are definitely first time parents because we make sure to warm up the silicone on our own skin before putting it on her so she’s not too cold!
EZPZ Straw Training Cup – Our pediatrician said we could introduce water at six months so again, we haven’t been at this long, but Callie was able to figure out how to drink from the straw pretty quickly! She doesn’t take much, but is able to get a little bit. You can use this in two ways also – with the straw or as an open cup!
Miss Mouth’s Stain Remover – I was influenced to buy this stain remover and it’s the only one I’ve tried because it works so well! A tip I have is to keep one in the laundry room and another in the nursery so that you can spray the clothes right after you take them off of baby, and then let it soak in the hamper until you wash them.

Categories: Motherhood

Babies and Their Sleep

Unprepared. Obsessive. Overwhelmed. Lost. Anxious.

Those are just a few words to describe how I felt when it came to my baby’s sleep. The pressure I had around sleep was our biggest struggle for months, and something I wasn’t expecting to be so hard. It’s gotten so much better, but I want to share some of the feelings and experiences I had so maybe it will help someone else feel like they aren’t alone or prepare a new or expecting mama.

I love social media and think it’s so fun. I spend lots of time tapping through Instagram Stories or swiping through Tik Toks, and there were actually so many things I gained from these platforms that helped with motherhood. However, it was my biggest enemy when it came to baby sleep. There was just simply Too. Much. Information. And it was ALL DIFFERENT. I had no idea what was right or wrong and what would or wouldn’t work for my baby, and it was constantly being thrown in my face every time I opened up my phone. It had me questioning my ability to be a mother, crying frequently, and getting frustrated with both myself and my baby. Not a healthy situation.

When it came to baby sleep, I had two big battles to overcome: nighttime sleep and naps. Naps were by far the bigger of the two battles and it absolutely consumed me. First let me talk about nighttime sleep.

Now, I’m not too naive to realize that newborns wake up throughout the night. They need to eat, be changed, etc. I pictured feeding my baby, changing her, swaddling her, and putting her in her bassinet to sleep for 2-3 hours before waking up because she was hungry. What I was not prepared for was my baby skipping the step of sleeping in her bassinet for 2-3 hours, and it wasn’t because she was wide awake and ready to play. She was most definitely tired and ready for sleep, so why wouldn’t she just do that?

Me. She wanted me. Something I saw all over social media – babies want their mothers. It’s all they know right now, and it makes sense. This baby grew in my belly for 40 weeks (and three days) so she just wanted to be with me – her comfort. The problem? I needed sleep too, and what did the hospital (along with the other side of social media) preach and preach and preach? The ABCs of sleep – Alone, on their Back, in a Crib.

So there I was every night at 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 in the morning trying to decide which side of social media wins – the “ABCs” or the “Bedsharing” community. If you were wondering, the winner changed nightly. Some nights I would spend precious hours awake fighting and fighting to get my baby to sleep in her bassinet. Others, I caved and let her sleep on me. I cried and cried and cried because I had a baby that wouldn’t do what the hospital said it should do. If you’ve been here as a first time mom, I feel you.

Callie is currently 6 months old, so what happened from those early weeks to where we are now? First, I took the “Taking Cara Babies” course. I’m here to say that there were pieces of that course that absolutely helped get my baby to where she is today – sleeping 11 hours in her crib every night. There were also things I still disagree with or don’t think were helpful to first-time, sleep deprived parents. I won’t go into the nitty gritty, but I will say that I recommend her course with a caveat. If your baby is like mine, don’t expect those steps to help the first night, week, or even month. I expected to watch these videos and have my baby sleeping soundly by herself within days. That didn’t happen and resulted in me feeling even more defeated. She got it eventually, but it took time.

I also researched how to safely bedshare. Yup. I did the best of both worlds. *This is not advice, I am just sharing my experiences.* I learned very quickly that when I would pull her out of her bassinet and onto my chest – it was SO unsafe. I was flat on my back with her chest to my chest… swaddled. But I didn’t know any better, so after reading, I stopped that and learned about the Cuddle Curl. Cue much better (and safer) sleep for both of us. Between her not wanting to sleep on her own, and me being so tired that I started dozing while feeding her while sitting upright, we needed to figure something out, and I am so glad we did. It felt so natural to have my baby next to me, and she slept so much better.

Long story long – I didn’t pick one side or the other, but it took several weeks once I gave into this to ease my anxiety. I always tried the bassinet or crib first and if it wasn’t going well, we would try again the next night and I would do what I needed to do for both of us to get sleep. Eventually she started sleeping longer stretches and was only in bed with us for an hour or two until she started sleeping through the night. Those newborn nights were so hard and felt like I would never get sleep and now I have a sweet little girl who loves going to bed at night (by herself in her crib) and sleeps so well. It might happen in a week or a few months but like everyone says – you will sleep again.

Naps. Before having a baby, I loved the word. It meant a nice little snooze during the day snuggled up on the couch under a blanket. After having a baby, my blood pressure would spike and my heart would start pounding as “nap time” approached. My expectations for naps were completely opposite of what happened. I expected to place my baby in her crib and have her sleep there for two hours.

Just like nighttime sleep, she didn’t want to be put down. She wanted to be held by me. Don’t get me wrong – I loved the newborn snuggles, but having a tiny human require you to hold them 24/7 can wear on you. It’s not that I didn’t love her or want to hold her, but I also needed a minute to take care of myself. I’m not sure if you gathered this from the way I handled nighttime sleep, but I couldn’t do the cry it out method. I know some families do, and that’s totally fine. I just couldn’t do it, personally. So that left me to hold her while she slept.

We kept practicing crib naps, and eventually she did start sleeping there! That was win number one. The next issue – her naps in the crib only lasted 30 minutes. Every. Single. Time. She was awake at 30 minutes on the dot, and I was at a loss for why. Turns out, there’s a lot of science behind baby sleep that I knew nothing about. 30-45 minutes is the length of a sleep cycle for most babies and while some babies can easily transition from one cycle to the next, others can’t and fully wake up around 30 minutes.

While I was so glad that she was sleeping in her crib, I was still frustrated at the length of her naps because of two reasons: 1. It wasn’t much time to get anything done besides quickly get ready, and maybe start a load of laundry. How was I supposed to get anything done if she only napped for 30 minutes? And 2. I also obsessed about the amount of sleep she got per day. I had an app that tracked things like diapers, feedings, and yes, sleep, and I tracked her sleep down to the minute. Apparently babies are supposed to get 4-5 hours of sleep during the day and four or five 30 minute naps did not add up to that. Seeing her “daytime total” below where it “should” be made me feel so defeated every day. When I tell you her sleep consumed my days, it truly did.

Again, long story long, she eventually started connecting her sleep cycles and started sleeping longer stretches during nap time. And me? I finally deleted that app and paid more attention to Callie’s energy and mood, and let me tell you… I became so much happier after that. I didn’t know how long she slept and as long as she wasn’t cranky or fussy (which she usually wasn’t) I was satisfied with the amount of sleep she got.

I still worry about her sleep to some extent, but it doesn’t control my life or mood like it did several months ago. I enjoyed (almost) every minute of becoming a mom and getting to know my baby. Even through the tears, I loved her fiercely through every high and low, and I would do it again and again. But I look forward to the confidence and security I will feel once I become a mom for the second time. Callie will always be the sweet baby that gave me the practice, understanding, and grace to become the best mother I can be.

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